Knock-Knock

Aloha!
There was a bellower in the hospital bed across the hall from me. He
would yell Eeeyyyy! (not in the cute Arthur Fonzerelli style), and because this
is Maui, the nurse would bellow back. He’d bellow, she’d bellow. My pretty young doctor came in and said she’d only been on Maui a month but she was already moving to the hospital on Oahu. Seems she couldn’t take the “community” style of doctoring here, which is a nicer way of saying what might be considered “unprofessional” elsewhere…Like that bellowing nurse.

The reason I’m in the hospital is because of a botched (gallbladder) surgery from five years ago. Everyone told me not to have surgery on Maui, and because I hadn’t done it before, I didn’t believe them. What could possibly go wrong? Plenty. Three more procedures later, I thought everything was solved, but no, Here I am, back in the hospital.

I’ve lost track of the number of physicians I’ve had at Kaiser on Maui. You see, they move to Paradise thinking everything is going to be perfect, and when they find out how little they make compared to the cost of housing, or how much private school will be for their children, they leave. Then there are the ones like my young doctor in the hospital who just moved here from Chicago and simply can’t take the country-style feel of medicine on Maui.
Remember the movie “Doc Holiday?” It’s kind of like that, except there’s no
happy ending, where the doctor actually stays on.

The big joke here is that when you check into Maui Memorial Hospital, you don’t check out. You’re dead. A friend of mine is married to a radiologist on Maui and when he got blood poisoning he refused to stay in the hospital. And he cited the above quote as the reason why.

Another practice on Maui is “rent a doctors.” Doctors and nurses come here because it sounds like fun to be in Paradise for a while. And they are only temps. The question is, where did they come from? How good are they? Are they running from problems elsewhere?

I’m not saying you can’t find a perfectly fine physician to treat your cold or flu on Maui. I absolutely love my GP and my OB/GYN (both female.) You just might want to rethink the whole surgery thing. So that means getting on a plane when you feel like snot to FLY to Oahu or the mainland to have your surgery. And guess what? Kaiser frowns on the practice and won’t pay for your airfare!

Much of the basic problem with my healthcare started with the fact that I had a surgeon five years ago who hadn’t had enough practice. We’re only a population of 150,000 people (100,000 twelve years ago). How much practice can they get? Always ask how many procedures a surgeon does per year and compare it to Information online that states how much experience a doctor should have. My doctor on Maui was performing about 1/10 the number of procedures needed to stay proficient. Another thing people don’t think about when they move to Paradise…

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad it was me in the hospital, and not you?

Many, many thanks to those of you who wrote to express your
good wishes while I was in the hospital. Mahalo nui loa for your care and
concern!

A hui hou!  Mahalo for stopping by.
Aloha,
Jamaica

Just Another Day in Paradise

Just another day in Paradise…

Aloha!

I woke this morning to sunshine, as almost every morning. I LOVE that, it’s one of the main reasons I moved to Maui. It’s like I just jones for sunshine. It makes everyone feel better, don’t you think? Shortly after I got up, they began burning sugar cane. We look out across the fields from our back porch:

and then it grew:

Let’s not forget that they burn the PVC irrigation pipe as well…all those toxins released into our Maui air. Then it started raining, at the same time that the sun was out. And I was treated to a rainbow:

Which kept metamorphasizing, and then the sky grew brighter:

And it stopped raining.

I came inside, washed my hands and when I picked up the hand towel in the bathroom, under it was a baby centipede. No matter what people say about the babies of all creatures being cute, that does not apply to baby centipedes. They just looked ticked off and like they can’t wait to find someone to sting.

All this within a 60-minute time period.  When you live on Maui, who needs television? Just another day in Paradise.

Question: When you’ve been to Maui, have you ever seen the burning sugar cane? What was your understanding of it?

And…what was the best rainbow you ever saw, and where?

Thought for the day: “The greatest part of our happiness depends on our dispositions, not our circumstances.” — Martha Washington

A hui hou (til next time.) If you’d like to subscribe to this blog, please click the Follow button on the Home Page.

Thanks for stopping by!

Aloha, Jamaica