Kauai Reader Weighs In

Aloha!

You, dear readers, have given wonderful feedback on the last blog entry. I appreciate all of you! The following letter puts one reader’s move to Kauai in perspective. (Mahalo for sharing, Laura.)

Submitted on 2015/03/08:
“I’m going on my fifth year living in Kauai. Prior to living here, my husband and I visited the island either 1x or 2x/year for about five years. We decided one year to look at real estate and ended up buying a home and renting it for close to 3 years with our goal moving part time to Kauai. To make a long story short, we got tired of the cold weather and decided to move here. So here’s my take on it:

First know what you’re getting into. Living on an island isn’t for everyone. It takes planning. You don’t need a lot. If you are considering moving here, don’t bring much. It will be a waste. People are always moving and you can find anything you need on craig’s list or garage sales. The pros living here : amazing scenery, the ocean, perfect weather, being able to be outdoors 365 days a year, rainbows, monk seals, turtles, whales, snorkeling. If you like outdoor activities, this is the place for you. The cons: night life is boring, not enough restaurants/cafes and the restaurants that do exist are too expensive and not worth what you get for it, limited shopping except for art galleries/gift shops, and my biggest complaint no matter where you live or how expensive your home is, there’s still that neighbor who never throws anything out and makes his yard into the car dump. What’s up with that???? Would I do it again knowing what I know, I don’t know. It’s different working and living here than visiting on vacation. It’s funny that my vacation time is going back east. Don’t get me wrong, I do like living here. I don’t miss snow or bitter cold weather but I do miss going out to restaurants, good food, shopping malls and seeing well kept properties.”

Very well put, Laura. You have summed it up nicely, especially the things you miss (Maui has more than Kauai, and I still wish there were more decent cafe-type places),the exorbitant restaurant prices, and we DO have that neighbor four houses down who has fifteen cars buried in his yard (yes, I counted.) I really miss neighborhoods where people take pride in their properties.

As for why? Mike grew up in Hawaii, and all the guys he knows are hoarders of misc. junk. The reason they give is growing up in the islands, you never knew when the boat might not come in, and every single thing they bought was so expensive that they refused to throw anything away. They all have barns, sheds, warehouses full! It’s our big struggle as a couple. He hangs on to everything!

Laura, you didn’t share where you moved from, or what type of jobs you and you husband found. Please share if you would like. I’m sure readers would like to have the full picture. Again, thanks so much for writing!

A hui hou. If you’d like to stay in the loop, please click the “Follow” button to the right, or on the Homepage.

Aloha, Jamaica

All Beds Are Full

Aloha!

A flu epidemic has hit Hawaii and a week ago we were told that all the hospital beds on Oahu are full. They are turning away ambulances, which are not allowed to stop.

And now comes the news that the beds are also all full at Maui Memorial Hospital. People are being told to just go see their primary physician instead. Which would be okay…except that Kaiser is on strike. And if people are dehydrated, they’re gonna need an IV.

I’ve got the flu. That’s why you haven’t heard from me. Everyone says this one lingers.

On a recent business call a woman on the East coast said, “You mean they get sick in the islands?!”

See you later!

Aloha, Jamaica

Everybody Wants a Do-Over

Aloha!
You may have noticed I've been absent. That's because everyone in my household has been sick with the coughing crud that's going around. I sound like a cross between a squeaking door that needs oiling and a bullfrog that got slammed in that door. (And yes, Virginia, they do get sick in Paradise.)

It's that time of year when people think about new beginnings. On a recent episode of "The Mentalist," characters Patrick Jane and Teresa Lisbon were discussing their future and how maybe they needed a change.
Lisbon said: One of us could get run over by a bus tomorrow.
Jane said: Not if we were on a beach in Polynesia. Buses can't go in sand." (Note how "starting over" seems to always involve Hawaii, Polynesia, or any place with white sandy beaches.)
Lisbon: But we could get eaten by a shark.
Jane: Not if we don't go in the water.
Lisbon: That sounds pretty boring, don't you think?
Jane: They have palm trees and hammocks and cocktails and pineapples…
Lisbon: And endless boredom, sunburn, and bugs the size of helicopters… Hey, I've been on vacation!
Jane: Then we could buy a boat and sail around the world.
Lisbon: Fine. Other than pirates and storms and scurvy. Besides, I get seasick….

Talked herself right out of a new life, didn't she?

So many people write to me every week saying they want to live on Maui or are makings plans to move. So tell me, what is the one thing that makes you feel you would want to live in Hawaii? (The weather doesn't count, perfect weather is a no-brainer.) Or you can share more than one, of course…

Hau’oli Makahiki Hou! (Happy New Year!) Pronounced Hau’oli — “how-oh-lee” Makahiki — “mah-kah-hee-kee” Hou — “ho”

A hui hou, and Mahalo for reading along. If you'd like to stay in the loop, please click the "Follow" button on the Homepage, or to the right.

Aloha, Jamaica

The Psychology of Place

Aloha!

Hold on – this isn’t as esoteric as you might think.

I was watching the writer’s commentary for the hit TV series “True Detective” (the show got nominated in every major Emmy category for which it qualified, 12 in all, including a best drama nomination for writer Nic Pizzolatto.) In the commentary, Pizzolatto mentioned the “psychology of place,” in this case, New Orleans, where the series was filmed.

Many writers talk about place as a character, and I most enjoy movies where the sense of place is very strong. So part of what has intrigued me is that 1) I’ve never been to New Orleans and 2) all I knew of it was Mardi Gras and Bourbon Street, mostly from movies.

Kind of like that’s the only way some people know Hawaii.

But this series showed the gripping underbelly of the Bayou – a whole different world… an insider’s world, as the writer is from there.

So I started thinking about the “psychology” of any place. A girl I know on Maui is from the upper Peninsula of Michigan, the “U-P” as it is known – -another place I’ve never been. Her assessment of her home: “Everyone drinks, and everyone hangs out in bars, because that’s all there is to do there.” It’s winter most of the time, and there’s nothing to do. To her, that’s the psychology of the place.

So what is the “psychology” of the place where you live? And what do you see (as a visitor or resident) as the psychology of Maui? Of Hawaii?

Please send me your thoughts. We’ll discuss this for the next couple of posts…

A hui hou! Mahalo for reading along. If you’d like to stay in the loop, please click the “Follow” button on the Homepage, or to the right.

Aloha, Jamaica

That’s Just the Way it is, Baby

Aloha!
Wow, readers really responded to “The Five Stages of Maui.” So I will share some friend’s comments about their recent move to Maui:

“We just can’t find the simple stuff… Hangers, for instance.” (I agree, what’s up with those black flocked hangers at Walmart?)

“Bookshelves. Who would’ve thought it would be so hard to find bookshelves?”

“Don’t like that we have to keep everything in the refrigerator. Otherwise, it molds. I don’t like cold bread!”

We wandered around saying, “Where are your mattresses?”

“Can’t believe there is no Mac store here!” (And no, the Macnet store is NOT a Mac store.)

“Where we came from (New York City) there was a stigma about cockroaches. But the other evening we were standing outside and saw a bush completely covered from top to bottom with cockroaches…” (The other evening I poured a glass of tomato juice, and in the time it took me to get from the kitchen into the living room, there was a cockroach floating in it. And it’s disgusting, because they disintegrate in liquid…so it isn’t like you have but a second to fish them out!)

There is always another cockroach...

There is always another cockroach…

“Went to Safeway for asparagus. No asparagus! Yet it was asparagus season… I guess you learn to substitute.” (Yes, sometimes daily.)

“You have to go to, like, seven different places to find anything here.” (It never ceases to amaze me. Recently I needed an “eggcrate” for our mattress. Went to Walmart, had gone to Kmart. Something told me to go back to Kmart the very next morning…and there was an egg crate. Had someone returned it overnight? The point is, you will run around a lot. If something is good, it gets snapped up off the shelves immediately. On that note, if you didn’t bring Christmas decorations with you, be sure to buy them the second you see them or they will be gone. The same with a Christmas tree!)

“The ant problem.” (They are always here, no matter what… But we have been blessed with an abundance of them after our termite tenting. Turns out, the ants love to eat the dead termite carcasses. The ants are all over my kitchen countertops, and I just can’t keep up with them. Also, they circle the cat food bowl constantly. I created my own ant moat, because they will not cross water:

Cat bowl inside another bowl with water in it....a homemade ant moat.

Cat bowl inside another bowl with water in it….a homemade ant moat.

Our friends say that Macy’s sells a fancy commercial version of this, but ours works fine. I also make sure to run the cat bowls through dishwasher twice a week.)

Jamaica here…

One thing is for sure, if you are moving from somewhere where you’ve had a lot to choose from (and great quality), you are in for shock. Our Macy’s, for instance, is the size of a postage stamp compared to New York City, or Chicago. But compared to the old Macy’s (previously Liberty House), this one is a palace!

And, the old-timers think the newcomers are crazy, because they REALLY had nothing! Anyone have anything to add?

A hui hou! Mahalo for reading along. If you’d like to stay in the loop, please click the “Follow” button to the right, or on the Homepage.

Aloha, Jamaica

The Five Stages of Maui

Aloha!

A girl in her 20s is starting a business on Maui, so she decides she needs a home-office. A trip to OfficeMax (at least we have one!) just bums her out… “Little glass – top nothing desks”. She’s been on Maui three years (most people don’t last two) and this is her Witching Hour; realizing that if she is really going to stay here, she is going to have to make peace with knowing she’s never going to find what she really wants. And don’t even think “at an affordable price.”

I watch people go through this over and over. When they first move here they think, “It’s warm here. I have the beach. What else could I possibly need?”

Turns out, quite a lot.

I think people who move to Maui go through five stages, like the five stages of grief. But this is more like, “Oh, good GRIEF!!”

So here was the 20-something’s journey, as she told it to me:

Stage One, Denial: “Of course that item has to be here. I just haven’t stumbled upon it yet.”

Stage Two: Anger: “What do you MEAN, I can’t get IKEA here?” (Or Best Buy…or Bed, Bath and Beyond…fill in the blank with your favorite whatever.)

Stage Three, Bargaining: “If I get my dad to pay the hellacious shipping costs, I can have that IKEA desk ensemble I’m lusting after.” (Ah, yes… the magic “Dad” card. Trust me, when you get a teensy bit older, Dad stops doing that.)

Stage Four, Depression: “This is just one item… And the whole thing will start over again next time I really need something!”

Stage Five, Acceptance: “Um, hasn’t happened yet…”

So, does anyone ever really accept it? It’s really more a constant lowering of expectations… Until you find yourself desiring….nothing.

Whoa! You’ve embraced Zen Buddhism just because you live on Maui, without even intending to.

Words of wisdom for the day: if you’re moving here (Hi, Shauna) bring everything you love or use constantly. Chances of finding it on Maui are next to nil. Plus you’re paying to ship something you’ve ALREADY paid for, instead of getting here and having to buy it all over again, plus pay the high, high shipping costs.

A hui hou! Mahalo for reading along. If you’d like to stay in the loop, please click the “Follow” button on the Homepage, or to the right.

Aloha, Jamaica

Lucky You Live Hawaii

Aloha!
In case you’re unaware, the people who live in Hawaii are traditionally non-complainers. The person you complain about will shore ’nuff turn out to be cousin Bully’s girlfriend. Or her Auntie. So Hawaiians just let things be.
That said, I am loathe to complain about our new postal carrier. (The guy who used to do our route had the nerve to retire after thirty years. He was German. Precise. Sigh…) So we have this new, Local, female carrier.
Suddenly, days are going by where we are getting no mail, which is the first tip-off that something is hinky. Especially since I’d ordered four books for a course I am taking. Where are they?
Then out of the blue, we get mail for three different families in our box. Not just one. Three. Excuse me, but isn’t that a violation of some type of right-to-your-own-mail statute?
So I chase the mail truck down the street.
I puff up to the truck and tell her, “Here. This mail goes to three different houses. It’s not ours.”
She shrugs. In Pidgin: “Ho! I’m new, you know.”
Me: “But also, our Netflix DVD didn’t arrive for four days. You must have delivered it to the wrong address, because some kind soul put in our mailbox on a SUNDAY morning.”
More shrugs and a laugh. “I’m new.”
I press: “But we PAY for Netflix. When it sits at someone else’s house for four days, we are paying for that time.”
She ha-haha-ed again and drove off.
Rule #1 in Hawaii: If someone doesn’t understand you because of a language barrier (or just doesn’t feel like helping you) they will nod, and say “Yes, yes” like they know exactly what you’ve said, and that they intend to do it. Then they will go on about their business and you will get no help.
Rule #2: If there’s trouble or a situation is tense, they just laugh. And it’s perfectly acceptable. (Sigh.)

Round one: Mail Lady, one . Me: zero.

This week, I realized that a book I ordered on January 3 still hadn’t arrived. Hmmmm… Then I’m at my friend’s house and she comments that she has a new mail lady. MY mail lady. As Dr. Phil would say, “How’s that workin’ out for you?”
My friend frowns: “Strangest thing – we don’t seem to be getting any mail.”
Uh-huh.
I’ve heard stories about whole attics full of mail being discovered because a postal worker was too lazy to deliver it. My scalp prickles.

Here’s an oddity about Maui… I’ve lived lots of places, but have never seen anything like it: the postal workers don’t get out of their trucks and walk deliveries to your door. They sit in their trucks and HONK. You’re expected to trot outside and fetch your own package.

Invariably, I am in my nightie, or in the middle of a workout, sweating… or just pulling a cake out of the oven – but still, I trot outside. (In fact, I don’t think there has ever been a time that I was fully dressed and sitting around drinking a cup of tea of something, when I needed to do this trotting.) If you don’t appear, they will actually get out of the truck, but they’re not a bit happy about it, because now they’re doing YOUR job!

So last week, I don’t trot quite fast enough. I skid to the front door in time to see her hopping back into the truck. I stare blankly. She sees me and yells out, “I wen’ slid it under da garage door!” ( Because obviously, it was way too much effort to walk the 15 extra steps to the front door.) I go into the garage and retrieve the package.

Now…a new week. Hope springs eternal. The carrier honks, and I trot outside (at least I’m getting my exercise.) She has my book, but now I notice that she has abandoned the regulation uniform and is wearing a pink tank top. A large dragon tattoo trails from her neck down her entire arm. Hmmm. Surely she’s supposed to wear a uniform?

I shudder to think of the myriad of ways this renegade postal employee can run amok.
But will I complain? Of course not.
As they say in Pidgin, “Lucky you live Hawaii!”

A hui hou! Mahalo for reading along. If you’d like to stay in the loop, please click the “Follow” button on the bottom right of the Homepage.

Aloha, Jamaica

New FAQ’s on Maui

Aloha!
Ta-da! There is something new at Mauidailyescape.com. So many readers have been writing to ask questions about moving to Maui that I was spending hours each week answering individual letters. So instead, I spent a few hours compiling “FAQ’s on Moving to Maui” (frequently asked questions). You’ll find the Tab at the top of each page.

It’s my Christmas gift to you (and myself!) because this leaves more time to post on this blog. And I will continue to post new questions as people ask me, so check back on the FAQ’s once in a while. Today I just added a section on “Questions to Ask Yourself Before Selling Everything and Moving” at the bottom of the FAQ’s…so Janet and Gaylynn, those are for you!

The Tab that was called “Moving to Maui” (my own story )is now called “Unexpected Paradise.”

Readers, please do me a favor and take a moment to share how you found this blog, so I can see what I’m doing right….what were your Search terms that led you here?

As always, thank you for your interest in the blog…thank you for your very kind words and comments on how the blog is helping to expand your view of Hawaii and Maui. I appreciate you all, and look forward to sharing the islands with you in 2014. And I ask that if you enjoy mauidailyescape.com, that you’ll please tell a friend!

A hui hou! If you’d like to subscribe to this blog, please click the “Follow” button on the Homepage.

Warm Aloha, Jamaica

Only in Hawaii…

Aloha!

Let me just say, you chase your tail a lot when you live in Hawaii. Here’s my recent example: I got dinged with a library book fine for “having SAND in the plastic book cover.” You know, like I’d toted it to the beach.

Two problems: I never took the book out of the library. And, there was no way to pay the fine!

Yes, I checked the book out. But I was leaving on a trip… So I walked it from check out to book return, all within one minute. So how exactly did I get sand in this book cover? Yet a very formal (threatening) letter arrived from the State of Hawaii about this fine, and it was all of two dollars! As in, they spent almost in much in postage as the fine would be.

And here was the major catch: the book was from the Pearl City library (books are shipped for free interisland, it just takes a month or so to get them) and there was no way to pay the fine, because the fine had to be paid IN PERSON. I live on Maui, Pearl City is on Oahu, do we see the problem here? I could not mail a check, mail cash, or do it by credit card.

So I drove down to the Kahului library, and had a meeting with the librarian, who told me to write a letter in return and plead my case. For TWO DOLLARS?

I have to laugh, because this is one of those going-around-in circles things that happens when you live in Hawaii. For the most part, the government says no to everything….It was easier for them, back in plantation days, when people were illiterate, or did not speak the language well, to JUST SAY NO to everything! (way before Nancy Reagan jumped on the bandwagon.)
Just try to get a building permit here, for example. The immediate answer will be no, and they will make it about as difficult as you can imagine.

And so it is that they make it impossible to pay a library fine, (for SAND in the book cover) yet are perfectly willing to lend books to another island such as Maui.

Only in Hawaii…

For the record, that major fee was waived after they put an inspector on the case, and determined that YES! the book never left the library under my name. And how much do we think this inspector cost the State? Absolutely archaic. Shake your head and laugh so you don’t bang it against the nearest wall.

A hui hou! Mahalo for reading along! If you’d like to subscribe to this blog, please click the “Follow” button on the Homepage.

Aloha, Jamaica

Local Style Partying

Aloha!

So what do the locals do with all their STUFF–since they’re busy having parties in their garages? (Or maybe it’s that haoles just own too much STUFF.)

It was interesting when first moving here to drive around and see people partying in their garages. I mean, even just Friday night barbecues… They open up the garage door, put a picnic table inside, and BAM, a party. And my questions are always the same:

What about having it INSIDE the house? Hmmm?
And who was the first person who ever decided that the garage was an ideal place to get happy?
And where IS all their stuff?

We couldn’t possibly have a party in our garage…at least not one that wouldn’t depress everybody, as they squeezed between the pile of windsurfing boards and the broken vacumn cleaner that (somebody) in the household just can’t bear to toss.

If I have a party in my garage next Friday, will you come?

It’s one of those great mysteries of life….in Hawaii.

A hui hou! If you’d like to subscribe to this blog, please click the “Follow” button on the Homepage.

Aloha, Jamaica

Those Boots Aren’t Made for Maui

Aloha!

The calendar might say that Fall is supposed to be in the air here on Maui, and the unrelenting heat did drop a couple of digits for a couple of days last week, but then it zoomed right back up there. Still, I hear the word “Autumn” and I start thinking about school supplies (I’m a stationery geek) and decorating for Halloween.

At which point, Mike just rolls his eyes… “Seriously, you’re going to decorate for Fall, and you live on Maui?” It is a bit incongruous, when it’s 90° out, to be hauling out gourds and pumpkins. But it’s just ingrained in me. And then yesterday I saw woman who was obviously jonesing for an Autumn fix here on Maui, but she just wasn’t going to find it…

We were at the movies, and she was ahead of me walking into the theater. The first thing I noticed were her riding boots, a shiny, high pair with her jeans tucked into them. Then a long-sleeved Navy blue shirt, and a blue scarf wrapped around her neck, just so. It was 87° out, people! Everyone else was in shorts and rubbah slippahs. I was trying to make sense of this… At first I figured she was from Upcountry, but quickly dismissed this, because anyone coming down to Kahului from Upcountry knows it’s going to be god-awful hot down there. Then for a moment I thought she was a tourist, but realized that a tourist would not bring shiny, high riding boots on vacation to Maui.

Then I got to her hair. A short, sassy, expensive cut. Aha! (Women here do not have short hair. Maui is the Land of Hair.) Final deduction: She has just moved to Maui, is missing Autumn, and is alone… which means she hasn’t made friends yet. (I have shared in past blogs how difficult it is to “break in” here. Harder than anywhere else I’ve ever lived. For the record, I was talking to a friend on the North Shore of Oahu, and she said she’s never been so lonely in her life as when she first moved to the North Shore. She just couldn’t make friends…it was “full of cliques”, as she put it. It took a few years, plus having children, for her to finally break in.)

Anyway, as a writer, I’m an observer. And I will say this: I never studied people in other places I lived, like I do here. The indicators, the clues, just scream on Maui like they never did anywhere else. It has to do with it being a tourist society. People are very attuned to when someone looks like, or acts like, a Tourist here on Maui. (The person who just cut me off in traffic, was it a Tourist? I look at the car, the way they’re dressed… do they seem insanely happy, like they’re on vacation? If it’s a Tourist, I find myself being more patient). It’s a small island, and people try to stake out their own bit of Paradise. Almost an “us vs. them” mentality, and not in a good way.

It will take a while, perhaps a few years, but this new woman will eventually realize that you just have to let go of the old ideas about everything (including those boots) when you move here, because Hawaii is a foreign land. And though the calendar says “Autumn”, it will be still be 90° outside.

In case you’re wondering, we were at the movies to see “Captain Phillips.” Mike is a boat Captain, and his dad was a Rear Adm. in the Navy, so I thought it would be a good fit. Instead, we found it uncomfortably intense. INTENSE in that it never let up for a second. If that’s your thing, by all means, go for it. Some might say it was good because it kept them on the edge of their seat. But good filmmaking, to me, must have highs and lows, it must give the audience a breather once in a while.

I learned this in high school when I was in a small traveling singing group (sixteen people:four sopranos, four tenors, etc.) called The Choraliers. We went down to compete in the State finals. We were good. We KNEW we were good (Hi, Randy!), but after our performance, our score was withheld and we were sent home for the day. We were crushed, as only high schoolers can be, trying to figure out why. The judge was kind enough to tell us: “The piece you sang was pitch perfect. You hit every note. You were energetic, smiling; in a word, Perfect. But the audience isn’t looking for perfect. They’re looking for a way to emotionally participate in the experience.” The judge sent us back to our hotel rooms, told us to think about the problem, and to return the next day to perform again.

So we did. We realized that we needed the song be loud in some places, soft in some places, emotionally gripping, yet subtle. (Like any good piece of music, a lone piano piece, on up to a full orchestra…) We fixed it, and we won.

To me, this must also be the experience in film. I have remembered this lesson for the rest of my life, and I apply it every time I write, specifically as a screenwriter. “Captain Phillips” was like a roller coaster ride. We got on at the top, and we just gripped our seats until we were allowed to get off. It didn’t help that the film went on about 15 minutes too long. It wrung us out, and made us grumpy. We were glad to get out of there.

So at the risk of also going on too long, I will stop here. Wherever you are, I hope you’re enjoying a beautiful, cool, crisp autumn day, as you wear your shiny boots and decorate your abode.

Excuse me while I go turn on the air conditioner.

A hui hou! Mahalo for reading along. If you would like to subscribe to this blog, please click the “Follow” button on the Homepage.

Aloha, Jamaica

Now THAT’S a Papaya

Aloha!
When was the last time you saw a papaya the size of a man’s head? These Tahitian papayas were grown by Mike, from seeds he got from a Tahitian neighbor.

image

Here they are in close-up on the tree:

image

And here they are in the kitchen. As you can see, they are the size of a butcher knife.
image

The taste test? Juicy, and a bit like a cantaloupe. Paradise!
In an upcoming post, I will share a video of Mike stunting a papaya tree, which makes it bear fruit earlier. This was a secret technique he learned from a wizened Japanese gardener on the North Shore, Oahu. Stay tuned…

Hope you have a great weekend! Mahalo for reading along.

A hui hou! If you’d like to subscribe to this blog, please click the “Follow” button on the Homepage.

Aloha, Jamaica

Hawaiian Name Woes

Aloha!

When you move to Hawaii, it is interesting to try to get used to the street names with their multiple syllables, and reading the names of people in the newspaper can be a challenge. The trick to Hawaiian words is to sound them out syllable by syllable, and pronounce everything.

Janice Lokelani Keihanaikukauakahihuliheekahaunaele is in a fight with officials here, to ensure that her full name gets listed on her driver’s license.

The license only has room for 35 characters. Her name has 35 letters, plus a mark used in the Hawaiian alphabet, called an okina.

So Hawaii county issued her license, but with the last letter of her name chopped off. And, omitted her first name. I wonder if the number of letters in her last name holds some kind of record?

And you thought you had a problematic last name. I’ll bet it at least fits on your driver’s license…

A hui hou! If you’d like to subscribe to this blog, please click the “Follow” button on the Homepage. Mahalo for reading along.

Aloha, Jamaica

Positive Outlook?

Aloha!
Tourism is still the driving factor in Maui County’s economy, according to economists at First Hawaiian Bank’s 39th annual Maui Business Outlook Forum. But if you’re thinking of moving to Maui and finding a job, or starting a business, read on.

At its lowest point in the recent deep recession in 2010, the county lost nearly 9,000 jobs. About 5,000 of those jobs have returned, mostly in tourism and other service-related fields, and the unemployment rate is still well above the 3% rate before the recession. In my personal experience, I was working a part-time job on Maui when I was laid off. I found out firsthand that these jobs numbers are not totally accurate: I would never show up as a statistic, because I could not collect unemployment as a part-time employee. So it was as if my job never existed. And I could not collect unemployment, even though I’d been paying into it for years!

In it’s third-quarter “Outlook for the Economy” published last month, the State Department of Business, Economic Development and Tourism projected state unemployment rates to be 4.8% in 2013 and 4.5% in 2014.

As for construction, activity has been on a slow but steady climb since 2011 and has made about a 25% recovery after plummeting to its low point in 2010. However, the economists noted, the opportunities are coming from infastructure and commercial construction, and less from residential and timeshares. So if you’re a guy planning to swing a hammer, be aware of that.

The retail sector also is expected to grow. The Maui Mall will add a T.J. Maxx store, scheduled to open in summer 2015.(Yay.) And the Queen Kaahumanu Center is planning to add new “name brand” shops. (That will be nice, especially after we lost both JCPenney and the Gap. Because of that, I tend to shop for basics on the mainland.)

As far as real estate, based on January – through – July numbers this year, sales for both single – family and condo units were well on their way to numbers not seen since their peak in 2007: 1,000 single family units and 1,300 condos sold. “The market is getting back to where it was,” said the President of Realtors Association of Maui, P. Denise LaCosta.”When inventory is low like this, it means prices will rise, and inventory will continue to shrink.” Maui’s real estate inventory has declined 11-14% over the last 12 months.

Make of these numbers what you will…A number of readers wrote to tell me they were planning to move to Maui. If you are one of those people, please write and tell me if you found jobs. Shauna?

Other than that, we have drought conditions here on Maui, because it’s been hot, hot,hot with NO rain. I got my haircut today and was talking with my hairstylist, who lives in Haiku. She said that Haiku (rainy, eastern-Maui, jungle) used to only get in the high 70s, and it has consistently been 85 to 87 this past week. She said she is “over summer” and “so tired of being hot!” I concur. As I wrote in a past blog post, statistics now show that Maui is 10° hotter than it was 10 years ago…

A hui hou! Mahalo for reading along. If you’d like to subscribe to this blog, please click the “Follow” button on the homepage.

Aloha, Jamaica

How for speak Pidgin

Aloha!

As I get settled back into the way of life on Maui after being gone for so long, I thought I would share with you one of the major differences between the mainland and here. It’s a funny and very true depiction of speaking pidgin.

If you’re trying to keep up while watching it, think, that’s how it would be if you lived in Hawaii!

Enjoy!
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GLmfQSR3EI0&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DGLmfQSR3EI0

Aloha, Jamaica

Brief Relief

Aloha!
Regarding my last post about the VOG (volcanic organic gas), and that we’d had unrelenting VOG for 43 days, I wanted to give you an update. Shauna wrote to ask if I had asthma before moving to Hawaii. The answer is no. I’ve written about this in the past, but I really did move to Maui for the “clean” air. So I was shocked to find out that Hawaii has a high incidence of asthma, and particularly the children are at risk. You can check it out at http://www.CDC.gov/asthma/stateprofiles/asthma. An estimated 36,738 children have asthma in Hawaii. Child lifetime asthma prevalence in Hawaii is 18.6%, compared with the 38 participating states rates of 13.3%.

There have also been questions about whether Hawaii is a good place for those with allergies. See also: http://www.allergyclimates.com/2006/06/03/Denver-Hawaii.

I’ve sat in my chiropractor’s office, and listened to parents bringing their children in for adjustments, saying, “I pulled the children out of school today because of the VOG, and they’re doing so poorly, I brought them in for an adjustment.” Many Hawaii schools have open windows and no air conditioning. I spoke with the man who owns Air Filters Hawaii, and he was hired to go to the Big Island and fit the schools over there with air filteration systems for the VOG. I think Maui should be next.

The thing with the VOG is that it’s so in insidious. Most places on the island, you don’t even know it’s there. We can go to downtown Kahului (where the airport is),and not see the VOG at, all because we are IN it. We can go down to Kihei, or to Wailea, on the south part of the island, and it’s the same way. But we come up the mountain and have a view of the valley, and bingo! there it is, hanging over Maui like a gauzy blanket. The shorthand at our house now revolves around the VOG. The question, “Is it thick?” means, is it time to close up all the windows?

I am on the email notification list for the island’s HC&S sugarcane company. This year during our 45 day VOG seige, they would send an email that said they were going to burn in the morning between 4:00am and 6:30am, and then a few hours later another email notification would come, saying “burning suspended due to weather.” They’re not saying due to VOG, but that’s what it means. They canceled the burning so many times I lost track, and the upside to the VOG siege was they were not burning cane. So it’s a choice between VOG and cane-smoke, I guess.

We had a three day VOG reprieve, so we went to the beach. I was so happy to be out of the house I cannot even tell you! However, now I’m thinking I need to do a blog post about “what not to do at the beach.” There was the guy who stood directly in front of me and chain smoked the whole time. Then the guy next to me smoking a cigar. Honestly, people, you can’t do this in your own backyards?

So today the wind is directly out of the south, and the VOG is moving back in. All of our windows are closed, and I am so weary of it, and wonder how long it will last this time. At one point I worked in a law office here on the island, with a large group of women. On voggy days, you could just see the effects all across the office… People with itchy eyes, scratchy throats, and the inability to concentrate. People would think they were coming down with the flu (with the achiness), but it would just be the VOG.

So there’s your report from Paradise today.

A hui hou! If you’d like to subscribe to this blog, please click the follow button on the homepage.

Aloha, Jamaica

Jumping the Shark

**Spoiler Alert** If you haven’t yet watched the season premiere of Mad Men and intend to do so, wait to read this. The premiere had 3.4 million viewers. Mad Men swept the best drama category at the Primetime Emmy Awards four
four years running.

Aloha!

Last night’s season premiere of Mad Men opened in Hawaii, so of course it had my full attention. Thanks to Elvis movies (and Bing Crosby’s before him), Hawaii tourism was treated to a perfect storm in the late 1960’s of tourists arriving by droves in ships and planes to spend their hard-earned vacation dollars, and often, to get out of the cold of a mainland winter.

In this season’s opener, Don Draper and wife Megan do just that, as they are in Hawaii checking out a hotel property (Marriott) on Oahu as a possible new client for the ad agency.  Back in New York, Don presents his ad campaign to the guys from Marriott.

(So, I am wondering if you agree with Don’s take on Hawaii….?)

DON: I’ve just come back…and there’s a feeling that’s stayed with me…

MARRIOTT GUY: I’ve been there in the winter–its quite a shock coming back.

DON: Well put, but that could be any vacation. This was very, very different. I think we’re not selling a geographic location–we’re selling an experience. It’s not just a different place–YOU are different. You’d think there’d be an unsettling feeling about something so drastically different, but there’s something else…you don’t miss anything. You’re not homesick.

It puts you in this…state. The air and the water are all the same temperature as your body. It’s sensory. The music, the fragrance, the breeze and the blue…Hawaiian legend has it that the soul can go in and out of the body, but that it usually leaves from a leeward point. (Don shows a sketch of a suit coat, tie, and an abandoned pair of shoes, with bare footprints leading away.) The copy reads:

Hawaii…the jumping-off point.

MARRIOTT: What happened to him?

DON: He got off the plane, took a deep breath, shed his skin and–jumped off.

MARRIOTT (considers this): I think people might think that he died.

DON: Maybe he did, and he went to heaven. Maybe that’s what this feels like.

Okay…so what did you think? Many people seem to feel that being in Hawaii is like dying and going to heaven (albeit without the existential overtones that Don Draper brought to this scene.) When I worked as a concierge and saw hundreds of tourists a month, they would all get the same moony look on their faces in describing coming to Hawaii, or being back in Hawaii.

What do you think that “state” of being is, that Don descibes? Do you think, as he said, that you are different in Hawaii?

Oh, and as far as the title of this post, “Jumping the Shark”…that refers to a Hollywood term (created by Jon Heim) that describes the moment in the evolution of a television show when it begins to decline in quality that is beyond recovery, which is usually a particular scene, episode, or aspect of a show in which the writers use some type of gimmick in a desperate attempt to keep viewers’ interest.

The phrase “jump the shark” comes from a scene in the fifth season premiere of the TV series Happy Days (Sept. 20, 1977) in which the central characters visit Los Angeles and a water-skiing Fonzie (Henry Winkler) answers a challenge by wearing swim trunks and his trademark leather jacket, and jumps over a confined shark. It is commonly believed that the show began a creative decline as the writers ran out of ideas and Happy Days became a caricature of itself (Wikipedia, Jumping the Shark.)

To me, Mad Men just jumped the shark when Don ended up in bed, yet again, with a woman who was not his wife. Seems to me that Matthew Weiner had himself a boring episode (who IS Sandy, the girl with the violin? And why should we care?) so gave it a jolt at the end to wake us all up after two hours of saying “huh?”

Even paradise couldn’t resuscitate this snooze fest for me. So did you see it? What did you think?

A hui hou! If you’d like to subscribe to this blog, please click the Follow button on the Homepage.

Aloha, Jamaica

The Patchwork of Life

Aloha!

When people start writing to ask, “Are your okay?” I know it’s time to blog again.

Interesting question… are you okay? Having lost my mother, I have to say it’s hard to realize I will never again pick up the phone and have her be on the other end. She was 77 years old. That would’ve seemed old at one time in my life, but this was a woman who still went to water aerobics three times a week, who went to lunch and the movies with friends every single Friday of her life, no matter what. In fact, three of us went to the movies the evening of my stepfather’s funeral…nothing like a good comedy to ease a transition. Mom was all about enjoying life. (Which begs the question, where are all the good comedies? But that is another post.)

I want to write about the concept of chogak po. I am reading the book “Honolulu” by author Alan Brennert. (I don’t know how this one escaped me; it was published in 2009 and was the winner of “Elle’s” Lettres 2009 Grand Prix for Fiction.) It’s about a Korean woman who travels to Hawaii as a “picture bride” in 1914, but she does not find the life she has been promised, and instead must make her own way in a strange land. Chogak po is the Korean word for patchwork cloth, cobbled together from leftover scraps of material. They have an abstract beauty, but the protagonist asks her mother why she does not make more elegant creations, because she is capable. The mother replies, “When we are young we think life will be like a su po: one fabric, one weave, one grand design. But in truth, life turns out to be more like the patchwork cloth–bits and pieces, odds and ends–people, places, things we never expected, never wanted, perhaps. There is harmony in this, too, and beauty.”

I am trying to see harmony and beauty in my life, at a time when so many things I never saw coming and never wanted to deal with are expected of me. It has been four months since my mother passed away, and I am still wading through the paperwork and making daily phone calls in connection with her business affairs. Who knew?

One bright spot is my friend, Suzanne, who went through this a year before I did, and has been my mentor and guide. There was a time in my life when I was ahead of all of my friends in doing the important things such as buying a house, starting a business, etc. and they were constantly relying on me to guide them through the intricacies of those things. I used to think, “When is it my turn? When do I get someone to explain things to me?” I am just so glad that when it has come down to important decisions such as the timing on when to sell my mom’s house, I have had Suzanne to say, “Take your time…don’t let anyone push you or hurry you. As Executor, you are in control.”

Moving to Maui is much the same as that patchwork Korean cloth. Everyone thinks life here is going to be perfect (it’s Paradise, right?) and they have a grand design in mind when they come. But in truth, it turns out to be full of things no one can understand until they have fully lived here…not just part-timed it, or vacationed here. Vacationing in Maui means hanging out with other tourists and doing tourist things. Living here means reality: understanding pidgin and the local ways. Accepting that everything moves at a glacial speed.

Some things just can’t be fully understood until we’ve lived them ourselves.

A hui hou! Thanks for stopping by…If you’d like to subscribe to this blog, please click the Follow button on the homepage.
Aloha, Jamaica

Because Suze Orman Said So

Aloha!

Many of you have written to me saying you’re planning to move to Maui this June… must be something in the air. And of course the price of Paradise always enters the conversation when people plan to move here.

I never had facts and figures to back up how much more expensive Paradise is, until now. In the recent Oprah Magazine a woman wrote to financial guru Suze Orman to talk about budgeting, and she is living in Hawaii. Suze wrote back to question the wisdom of living in a place that is 55% higher than the mainland for necessities like gas, groceries, and utilities.

So there you have it. Paradise is 55% higher because Suze Orman said so. Now we can all quit wondering.

I spent this winter in northern California, taking care of my mother’s estate after she passed away. There were three people living in the house. And California was having the coldest winter anyone could remember for ages, which meant I was running the furnace all the time.

The  utility bill in California (for three people) was $310 per month cheaper than my house in Maui (for four people), with no furnace running.

And then there are the groceries. In California, I fairly skip down the grocery aisles, tossing things into my cart with abandon. Everything is about one third, to half the price, as Maui. It’s all relative, whatever you are used to. I’m sure the people in California don’t think their groceries are cheap.

The price of paradise is steep. The difference is, I did not get to wake up to blinding sunshine every single day in California like I do in Maui.

It really is all relative…

A hui hou! If you’d like to subscribe to this blog, please click the Follow button on the homepage.


Aloha, Jamaica

Aloha, Again

Aloha!

Yes, yes, I know, it’s been a while. Those of you who read this blog know that my mother passed away in December. And I’ve been a little busy. If anyone ever offers to make you the Executor of an estate and you’re thinking of it as an honor, word of advice: run screaming in the other direction. But I was given no choice, so there you have it.

Being the Executor of an estate (estate? puh-leeze) is a thankless, mind-numbing exercise in futility, and you spend months chasing your tail. To top it off, my parents were pack-rats (they had twelve of everything) and it’s up to the Executor (that would be me) to clear all of that flotsam (unimportant misc. material) and jetsam (material cast overboard in times of distress to lighten the load) out of the house, so it can be sold. The stuff and the house.

And let me tell you, there were times while I was there when I walked out to their over-stuffed garage and wanted to pick up one of the (twelve) hammers on the work bench and smack myself in the face with it. Because that would have been an excellent diversion from the two-foot pile of paperwork waiting for me inside the house:

IMG_1874

This was from just one drawer, in one of the four desks in my mom’s house.

Currently I am back on Maui because, well, because I actually have a life apart from being the Executor of an estate…however, being one leaves you no time for your own life. I had to get out of California while the getting was good, just to get my own taxes done this year. THEN I get to go back and file my mom’s taxes, and the estate’s taxes. And sell the house. Party-time!

I know that I am back on Maui, because that very first morning, a friendly little German cockroach decided to share my cup of tea with me:IMG_1819

Some things never change.

A hui hou! If you’d like to subscribe to this blog, please click the Follow button on the Homepage.

Aloha, Jamaica

Hawaii Housing Ranked Most Expensive in Country

Hawaii Housing Ranked Most Expensive in Country

Aloha!

If you love to visit Hawaii and hope to buy a home/condo here in the future, better make it soon.

Coldwell Banker http://www.coldwellbanker.com/ just released a report that puts Hawaii’s housing costs the highest in the nation. An average 4 bedroom/2 bath home is more expensive than any other state, with an average listing price of $742,000.

Kailua, on Oahu where Mike grew up (in a modest 3 bed/1bath home) and where President Obama and family plan to vacation this holiday season for the fifth straight year in a row, ranked 8th out ot the top 10 most expensive places to buy a home.

We are so glad we bought our house when we did (2002), even though we tore it down and built what we now have. Because building materials have just spiraled upward also.

Analysts say they expect prices to skyrocket even further in the future. I suppose the next thing they will rank is how Hawaii housing costs compare to the entire world.

If your dream is to live in Hawaii, better buy while you can. I wish you the best of luck.

 A hui hou! If you’d like to subscribe to this blog, please click the Follow button on the Homepage. Mahalo for stopping by!

Aloha, Jamaica

With Gratitude at Thanksgiving

With Gratitude at Thanksgiving

Aloha!

For those of you who might be getting on the road to go see family for the Thanksgiving holiday, I wanted to say safe travels and thank you for reading. I have been touched by, and feel gratitude for, all of you who have written to say how much you enjoy this blog. It is my pleasure to bring you a little bit of Maui, no matter how far away you are.

I love Thanksgiving. It’s one of those holidays that everyone can join in enjoying, without trying to be politically correct, or the divisiveness of religion. You don’t have to worry about spilling the beans about Santa Claus or wonder what you’re going to buy someone for a gift. Thanksgiving just is. A day for feasting, reflection, merriment, family and relaxation (if you’re not the one basting Mr. Bird.)

I’m really hoping it’s going to cool down on Maui in time for Thanksgiving. A couple of years ago I put a turkey in the oven for a Christmas party we were having, and by the time we were ready to eat, the house was SO HOT that no one was hungry. We have a window air conditioner and when the day was over I discovered that it has been set on “fan” instead of “cool.” And here I thought it was all that body heat. You can bet I’ll never let that happen again!

At Thanksgiving time we pause to consider all we are grateful for, and my heart goes out to all those on the East Coast who are still struggling in the aftermath of Sandy.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving, and thank you for being a part of the ohana here at Maui Daily Escape.

A hui hou! Mahalo for stopping by.

Aloha, Jamaica

Maui Real Estate Stats

Maui Real Estate Stats

Aloha!
For those of you considering moving to Maui, (and I hear from a lot of you!) here are the latest stats on real estate in the Upcountry Makawao/Pukalani area.
There were 36 properties sold in Makawao from April 1 to October 17, 2012
The highest selling price was $1,780,000. The lowest selling price was $210,000. That was for a three bedroom/1 bath, 820 square-foot house on a lot size of 6595.
This makes the median price $380,000.

In Pukalani the highest selling price was $1,085,000. The lowest price was $220,000. That was for a three bedroom/1 bath 1486 square-foot house on a lot size of 11,221 feet.

Be aware that these sales figures say nothing about the condition of the houses. There are some real stinkers out there. A house in Maui is in a perpetual state of returning to the jungle (rotting) from the humidity, red dirt, wind and rain. It takes a lot of time, love, and money to keep a house in tiptop shape. I couldn’t figure out why so many people let their houses go to pot, in need of paint, weeding and repair, until I owned a house in Maui and saw the kind of time and money it takes to keep one up. It’s like a continual battle between you and the jungle. Paint alone is much more expensive here than on the mainland. Don’t forget, they have to ship it.

National Association of Realtors chief economist Lawrence Yun said 2012 is expected to be a year of recovery for housing. “First-quarter sales closings were the highest first-quarter sales in five years.”

A hui hou!
Aloha, Jamaica

3rd Shark Attack in 3 Weeks

Third Shark Attack in Three Weeks

Aloha!
We are three for three here on Maui. Three shark attacks in three weeks. It’s beginning to feel like we’re living in a small town on the eastern seaboard and Jaws is on the loose. There was also a fourth attack off Kauai.

For the first time in 12 years, I have asked Mike to stay out of the water. Usually I’m glad to see him go surfing. It’s kind of like sending him off to church; he comes back with a big smile and attitude adjustment. But this is worrisome, we’ve never seen this kind of shark activity, and Mike, who has lived here his whole life, says he’s never heard of this many shark attacks this close together. The news reports say it may have something to do with an increase in the turtle population, the shark’s favorite food.

30-year old Marc Riglos was participating in the 2012 Maui Roi Roundup, an invasive species spearfishing tournament. He said the shark took a bite of his ankle then tugged it from side to side. “I thought I was going to die out there. (It) was crazy,” he said. With the help of his dive partner he was able to get back into shore, but they were 300 yards out and it took 25 minutes.

Riglos says he hopes that doctors can save his foot. On KHON 2 news last night, they showed him in his hospital bed at Maui Memorial Medical Center. His right ankle is stitched the entire way around. Riglos said his foot was literally hanging by a tendon.

A marine biologist interviewed on KHON said that the best way to fight off a shark is to get your fingers into the shark’s eyesockets or gills and tug hard, and they’ll back off. Um, easier said than done while their jaws are wide open and headed straight for you. When Mike worked as a professional diver, he said that the divers would stay in a circle and if a shark approached they would take the respirators out of their mouths and scream at the shark, and that worked, too.

Seems to me you don’t need a degree from Harvard to figure out you should maybe just stay out of the water right now.

If you have ever seen the “Shermans Lagoon” comic strip, it is a microcosm of marine life and they all have human characteristics. The big, dumb shark Sherman, his wife and son, the crab and the turtle all talk and comment on what’s going on up top. They stake out Unsuspecting Vacationers floating on the surface and decide which ones will taste best for dinner. It sounds morbid, but it’s quite funny.

Given that, I began to wonder if the sharks have just been watching too much television down there… Too many paid political advertisements. They got so frustrated, they just had to take a big BITE out of someone.

At least today that will all be over! And if the shark activity calms down… Well, what can I say. I was right.

A hui hou! If you’d like to subscribe to this blog, please click the Follow button on the Homepage. Mahalo for stopping by!

Aloha, Jamaica

Be Safe

Be Safe

Aloha!
To all of my readers on the East Coast, I send out a heartfelt wish for your safety and a swift return to normalcy. I hope you are not without power. Be safe!

To those who have opened up a discussion about the tsunami warning in Hawaii, I offer the following thoughts. One reader, TC, happened to be on Maui during the tsunami warning and asked if the level of panic observed is normal here.

When you live on Maui for a while, the enormity of being a spec in the middle of the ocean grows. It feels a bit like being a flea on an elephant. We are the farthest from any landmass of any Archipelago. (Not just Hawaii, but Maui.) For those who have lived through dock strikes, or a hurricane, or a tsunami, it becomes readily apparent how dependent we are on the outside world for absolutely everything, from toilet paper to rice, to bottled water.

A fire alone can shut down the whole west part of the island. I’ve seen it happen. There is no getting in or out, because there is only one road in, and they now close down the northern route so it will not become clogged with people and cut off emergency vehicle access. More than once I had to get a hotel room and sleep on the west side when I couldn’t get home from work, due to a disaster.

People are very attuned to this when authorities say a tsunami is coming. They immediately picture no electricity, no food, no ships getting in with supplies for God knows how long. The thing about a tsunami is that there is essentially no warning. An hour or two maybe, and then it’s a call to evacuate. Tsunamis travel at 500 mph plus-the same speed as a jet. There is little response time, no planning ahead.

Mike was a fireman on Oahu for 12 years and amazingly, spent less time fighting fires than he he did rescuing people from the ocean, and on occasion, from big waves washing over people’s houses. That’s just what the North Shore is like in the winter time. He says the level of panic of people fleeing during a tsunami warning also has to do with responsibility. Responsible people realize that if they don’t act, they are jeopardizing the life of someone else (such as Mike) who must then come in and rescue them.

One disconcerting fact that came out during the news reports on television for this tsunami warning: there are no buoys between Hawaii and the mainland. None. So when the earthquake struck Canada and reverberated out, they had nothing to look at to check the rising tide between us and them. So we had to prepare for the worst.

The following facts are from this good website: http://ptwc.weather.gov/faq.php#6

1. How fast do tsunamis travel?
Tsunami wave speed is controlled by water depth. Where the ocean is over 6,000 meters (3.7 miles) deep, unnoticed tsunami waves can travel at the speed of a commercial jet plane, over 800 km per hour (500 miles per hour). Tsunamis travel much slower in shallower coastal waters where their wave heights begin to increase dramatically.

2. What does a tsunami look like when it reaches the shore?
As the leading edge of a tsunami wave approaches shore, it slows dramatically due to the shallower water. However, the trailing p art of the wave can still be moving rapidly in the deeper water. This results in a “piling up” of the tsunami energy, and the tsunami wave height grows. The wave looks and acts like giant river of water on top of the ocean that floods the shore.

3. Where and how often do tsunamis usually occur?
Major tsunamis occur about once per decade. Based on historical data, about 59% of the world’s tsunamis have occurred in the Pacific Ocean, 25% in the Mediterranean Sea, 12% in the Atlantic Ocean, and 4% in the Indian Ocean.

Stay safe, and treasure each day. If you are a reader on the East Coast, please let me know you’re okay!

“The best way to predict the future is to invent it.” Alan Kay

A hui hou! If you’d like to subscribe to this blog, please click the Follow button on the Homepage. Mahalo for stopping by!

Aloha, Jamaica

The Tsunami that Wasn’t

“I have a lot of excitement in my life. I used to call it tension, but I feel much better now that I call it excitement.” Madeline Costigan

Aloha!

So I’d already had my allotment of excitement for a Saturday night and was now reading, of all things, “Finding Your Way in a Wild New World” by Martha Beck, when the air-raid siren went off. That sucker is LOUD. And since it wasn’t noon on the first day of the month when the firemen do their test signal, it got my full attention. “What the…?” I personally think that Americans need to come up with more creative ways to curse at times like these. The British are quite good at this, but when an American utters, “Bloody hell” or “Bullocks,” we just sound like pompous asses.

Anyway, I thought maybe someone set off the siren accidentally. After all, nothing was going on. Right? Wrong.

Last night we had the tsunami that wasn’t. After a magnitude 7.7 earthquake struck off Canada, we were placed on tsunami warning, the highest alert…signaling that all coastal areas were likely to be hit by a wave and initiating evacuation efforts. About an hour later, Maui Civil Defense issued an “immediate evacuation advisory,”and Kahului was evacuated. We could see the lines of cars snaking up Haleakala Highway and Omapio Rd. from our back porch. Made me feel all fuzzy inside to live this far away from the beach for once.

Two years ago Hawaii had another tsunami that wasn’t. Mike owned a catamaran then with three other guys, and the first thing they tell boaters is to take the boat out to sea. Seems counterintuitive, but you want to get as far from shore as possible. So we had our own little
Panic because they were telling us the boats could have to stay out for days. We gathered up every gallon of water we had, and because I cook from scratch, there was essentially no canned food in the house to send with him. I felt like a failure: if the tsunami doesn’t get him, he’ll die of starvation. And there was no time to go to the store. The warning came late; this was all going on about 10:30 PM.

Mike stayed out with the boat off Lanai that night, and all the next day. There was some minor damage of Maalaea harbor and Lahaina harbor. But all in all, it was the Hawaii tsunami that wasn’t.

Fast-forward two years, and here we are again. We gather up the flashlights, check the batteries, make sure the weather radio is working. We take all the ice out of the freezer and put it in a cooler and replace more Tupperware containers full of water in the freezer. The scary thing is our main electrical transformer is in Kahului, way too close to the water for comfort. What were they thinking? So there’s always the chance we could lose power, and refrigeration, for days.

After a tense three hours, Kahului has been evacuated, and… Nothing. Barely a ripple of higher waves on the shoreline.

Kahului and Paia were both taken out by a tsunami in the 1950s. A woman I know tells the story of her grandmother hanging wash on the line in Paia with her children playing in the yard, and she heard the wave before she saw it. She dropped the clothespins, grabbed her babies and ran for higher ground. They were safe.

This time it was reported that the warning sirens on the Big Island failed to go off in a number of places. The news reporter on television laughed and said, “Probably a gecko crawled in there and died.” Yes, the geckos are troublemakers…. but it doesn’t inspire much confidence in the system. After Japan’s tsunami, we’re all aware of what could happen.

There was pandemonium in crowded Waikiki last night with everyone in their cars, rushing to higher ground. Many car accidents. Eventually on the news, they told everyone to just get out of their cars, leave them where they were, and get to higher ground. The lines at the gas stations were jammed, which is why I make it a practice to always fill my car when it hits a half tank.

It seems we’ve had many instances of a tsunami in Hawaii that wasn’t. I worry that it’s become a bit liking crying wolf, and one of these times people will simply refuse to evacuate.

In the meantime, I enjoy living at an elevation of 1500 feet. Living at the beach sounds like fun…till it isn’t. This is always a good reminder that life can turn on a dime. Time is short, the people in our lives are precious.

A hui hou! If you’d like to subscribe to this blog, please click the Follow button on the Homepage. Mahalo for stopping by!

Aloha, Jamaica

Fall for Maui

Fall for Maui

Aloha!

It doesn’t seem like there would be much change in seasons in Hawaii, and it’s very subtle, but it is there. Especially in Upcountry Maui. On the mainland I always enjoyed the change of seasons… Getting out all of the fall decorations, the Halloween decorations, the Thanksgiving decorations… And the places to buy them were of course, endless.

Not so on Maui. Stores such as Walmart or Kmart only bring so much in to the island per season, and once it’s gone, it’s gone. So if you go to Ben Franklin Crafts and see something you like, you’d better buy it now. You also learn to improvise with what nature provides on Maui. In the same way that I might have gathered Fall-colored leaves in California, here I gather Fall-colored shells to make my dining room table centerpiece:

Our mango tree in the backyard also provides a clue that fall is here on Maui. If you look closely in this photo you’ll see that we have older yellow leaves dropping, healthy older dark green leaves, light green brand-new leaves coming in, and to top it all off: it’s flowering with new fruit (that’s the brown  fuzzy-stuff).

Mango Tree on Maui

What this means is there’s never a good time to prune a tree in Hawaii. Our citrus tree in the front yard does the same thing. It’s a tree that’s been grafted with tangerines, tangelos, and oranges on the same tree. The tree has become enormous because there is constantly a cycle of new leaves and new fruit. When the heck do you prune, without losing fruit?

It’s also a season of harvest here. We have more apple bananas (the very sweet ones that taste more like a pear) than we know what to do with. This morning I grilled bananas on the griddle when I made the french toast. Every morning we have smoothies with two bananas in them. We hang the bunch from a rafter in the garage to keep the rats out of them:

And why yes, that IS a surfboard hanging there in the rafters too. Thanks for asking. And that second refrigerator in the background is not a “beer frig”, because in Maui almost all dry goods have to be refrigerated or use lose them to bugs. So that frig has flour, sugar, bread crumbs, bread, cornmeal, etc. in it. If you don’t refrigerate your bread, it can mold in a day or two.

The other bounty we can barely keep up with is the lilikois (also known as passion fruit). Here is a few days’ worth that have been gathered:

It doesn’t help to call my friends and ask if they’d like some fruit, because they have the same problem. So I’ve taken to hauling fruit to Kahului when I go down the hill, and giving it away. Yesterday a doctor got eight apple bananas in a brown bag. He is a fierce Korean guy who pretty much scares me spitless. I gave him the bananas and he lit up. As he was leaving the room he said “This will be my lunch” and I teased him and said, “Hey, I know you have children!” and he just laughed, because those kids weren’t getting any of those bananas. That’s the first time I’ve heard him laugh! Food, the universal language.

Here’s a recipe for Lilikoi Martinis. My thanks to Shel and Clay Simpson for turning us on to these intoxicating gems.

Lilikoi Martini

1 ounce (a shot-glass) of lilikoi juice

1 ounce of Vanilla Vodka (I’m a wuss and use half that amount)

Fill a glass with ice. Shake the above two ingredients together, add to glass, then top it off with ice-cold water.

I get creative and substitute out recipes that involve lemon juice, such as a Lemontini or Lemon Drop. So, to the above recipe I will also add a little St. Germain (YUM) and substitute club soda or seltzer water for the plain water.

Next time you get your hands on some lilikoi juice, enjoy a martini. You can possibly find the Perfect Puree of Napa Valley lilkoi puree in your gourmet grocer’s freezer section. And if anyone has figured out a fool-proof method for pruning the ever-flowering fruit trees in Hawaii, give a shout.

A hui hou! If you’d like to subscribe to this blog, please click the Follow button on the Home Page. Mahalo for stopping by!

Aloha, Jamaica

Luau Feet

Luau Feet

Aloha!

Do you know what luau feet are? It’s the term used in Hawaii to describe flat feet caused from wearing rubber slippers (“rubbah slippahs” in pidgin, thongs or flip-flops on the mainland.) Mike has flat feet. Until he saw my feet with their impossibly high arch, he didn’t even know feet were supposed to have an arch. And the first time I heard someone local refer to slippahs, I was confused and thought they meant house shoes. Slippers. This gives you just a tiny peek into the confusion that reigns supreme in our household.

Right now I am in mourning. I lost one of my best rubbah slippahs. And I had only worn them twice! I had been looking for this pair for about five years. “Reef” makes a certain type of very cushioned flip-flop with a soft fabric band between the toes. They became very hard to find… and I was even more specifically looking for BROWN ones. I finally found them in a tiny shop on the North Shore of Oahu. I was as excited as if someone had given me a diamond ring. Then the proprietor told me the bad news: Reef was discontinuing these! How could this be? They’re so comfortable.

I read that podiatrists say if you’re going to wear rubber slippers, that it should be these cushioned Reefs. I could walk all day in them and my feet don’t hurt. Podiatrists are not fans of flip-flops. Besides leaving your feet vulnerable to injury from stepping on sharp objects or getting stepped on themselves, flip-flops offers little support, slip off easily while walking, and can actually affect your gait–making you vulnerable to potential heel, arch, and back pain, plus putting you at higher risk for fractures. If you’re going to wear them at all, foot doctors caution, you should not wear flip-flops for long periods of time.

Like Jimmy Buffett mourning his blown-out flip-flop in “Margaritaville”, I feel the loss of my brown Reef. The crazy thing is, I cleaned out my closet and suddenly it was gone. Just ONE of them! (Another instance of getting organized and then not being able to find anything. Does this happen to you, too?) Reefs aren’t cheap, plus now these are discontinued. I don’t know how I’m going to replace this thing.

There was a time in my life when I would’ve been coveting the latest fall shoes in October. Instead here I am, just wanting a good rubber slipper.

Some funny stories we have had with rubber slippers: I always take my shoes off in the car. One time we got to a store and when I looked on the floor, one of my slippers was missing. They’re so light, I must’ve kicked it out at the last stop. So back we drove to the Ross parking lot, circled around a couple of times, and there it was. Mike stopped, and I jumped out and retrieved my rubber slipper. This explains why you see so many orphaned rubber slippers in the road and on the sidewalks in Hawaii.

Another time Mike was surfing in Lahaina and left his slippers on the shore as he paddled out. When he came back in, his nice rubber slippers were missing and had been replaced with a pair of “Locals” a very cheap rubber slipper from Longs. To add insult to injury, the end of the slipper had been chopped off with a pair of scissors, like it had been too big for the wearer. Possibly a hand-me-down from an older brother! Mike was not a happy camper.

Then we were at a party on Oahu, and the people had a new dog. Out of the whole pile of slippahs left by the door (removed when entering the house, local-style),the dog chose to chew Mike’s rubber slipper, which happened to be new. But what can you do, besides laugh!

So, how often do you wear flip-flops? Have you had foot problems related to them? Let us know in the comments section.

A hui hou! If you’d like to have this blog delivered to your in-box, please click the Follow button on the Homepage. Mahalo for stopping by!

Aloha, Jamaica

Shark on Board

Shark on Board

Aloha!
It seems that everyone is paddle-boarding these days in Maui. Mike’s nephew Robert was in Maui this week, visiting from Colorado, and Mike took him to Kanaha Beach in Kahului to teach him to stand-up paddle. The very next day, a stand-up paddle-border was attacked by a shark at Kanaha beach. David Peterson of Pukalani, 55, was uninjured, because he beat the shark off with his paddle. But what’s the reason for the attack?

I went straight to the source, surfer extraordinaire Mike Turkington! to see what lies behind it. He explained, “Think about it. What is a shark’s favorite snack? The green sea turtle. As a turtle moves through the water and surfaces, it makes a slapping sound on the water. This is a similar sound to a surfer paddling, or a standup paddle-border’s paddle moving through the water. All of these sounds get a shark’s attention.”

However, kite boarders and windsurfers are not making the same type of sound, because their boards move so quickly through the water. So unless they fall off and are just bobbing in the water, a shark isn’t going to be as interested.

David Peterson said he was on top of his board, and when the shark bit it, he fell off and landed on top of the shark. The shark had hold of his board and would not let go of it, so Peterson hit the shark with his paddle as he was in the water. The shark released, but then came between him and the board. With his hands, David pushed the shark away. When he was interviewed on KHON2 news, he said he scrambled to get back on his board while the shark circled, all the while fending him off with his paddle. The shark finally gave up and swam away.

Peterson said he felt bad because all of his friends who were surfing had to get out of the water when the lifeguards closed the beach. The sign on the beach said “Shark Sighted.” (I am laughing because I am dictating this to my iPad, and it auto-filled in with “Shark Excited.” Probably quite true.)

While the ocean can be a surfer’s playground, it’s also a feeding ground. So go ahead and enjoy your water sports, but remember: the safest form of surfing these days seems to be the one that involves a paddle that can also be used as a weapon.

A hui hou! If you’d like to have this blog delivered to your inbox, please click the follow button on the Home page. Mahalo for stopping by!

Aloha, Jamaica

The Great Gecko Hunt

The Great Gecko Hunt

Aloha!

People can have a somewhat idealized vision of what it means to live in Paradise. My friend Shel and I often discuss the things that people we know back home on the mainland (and for her, Canada) have most recently alluded to: that we spend all our time at the beach, or sipping mai tais, or just relaxing with a good book in a hammock. Oh, how we wish it were so.

Right now I have a battle of wits going with a gecko in my office. The battle has been raging for about five weeks, in which time he has pooped on absolutely everything (they hang out on the ceiling and let it fly.)  It’s along the window sills, on the floor, on the desk and the bookshelves.

At first I tried to ignore it, then the morning came that I walked into the office and there was gecko doo dripping down my computer screen. ENOUGH! I cried. I brought a step ladder into the office, determined to catch him. The ladder has been there for a week now. They are smart and fast and cackle at you.

Last night at dusk I spotted him and called in reinforcements: Lili the Cat. I’ve written about Lili before, but didn’t mention what a fabulous hunter she is. She will sit in the living room and stare up at the ceiling, motionless, until we notice there is a gecko up there and try to railroad it down with a broom. If one of us spots the gecko first, we yell, “Lili, come NOW!” and even if she is dead asleep and dreaming about ice cream, she will leap to her feet and come running, bleary-eyed. (It’s quite entertaining to watch and sometimes Mike will be ornery and yell for her to come for no reason, just to watch the show.)

So there Lili and I are in the office. I’m up on the ladder with a broom and she, the goalie, might as well be wearing a mask and holding a little hockey stick, she is so jazzed. Poised and ready down below, she chimes in with her own kitty cackle. The ultimate goal is to whisk the gecko off the ceiling to the floor, and when she nabs him, I will jump down, gently remove him from her mouth, and release him out of doors.

But geckos have that annoying survival measure built in, where their tails detatch just as you grab them. That’s what this one did, then he was off and running across the ceiling. He glanced over his shoulder and cackled at me. Lili felt robbed and said so. Game over.

Today I come into the office and get down on my hands and knees. I spot him behind a bookcase, and the chase is on. I am determined not to lose him this time. He runs up the wall and high-tails it (no pun intended) up behind the rattan window shade. I take a whack at him with a magazine and he again drops to the floor. Then shoots right up the wall.

A dance ensues: I’m up, I’m down on the floor… up, down. He knows my knees can’t take this for long and that he’s winning. He cackles in glee. That’s when I notice: he isn’t missing his tail. There are TWO of them in here, switch-hitting like the twins in “Parent Trap.” I am doomed, people.

Then there is this big guy below, who lives in the wreath on our front door, like the king of the castle,  and challenges all comers. I think he must be old because he has the longest tail I’ve seen on a gecko:

King of the Geckos

On any given day there will be ten cockroaches, a cane spider, and in a bad week, a centipede, in the house. The cane spiders are hairy-looking, like small tarantula cousins:

Cane Spider

They can really travel when they put their minds to it, so we again call Lili in to help us hunt. She is quite proud when we are successful as a team, and crushed when we fail. Either way, she gets her daily allotment of tropical fruit, and then takes a nap, making sure to keep her paw on her toy mouse’s tail.

Worn out from a day of hunting, we all go to our respective corners to rest up, knowing that tomorrow the Great Gecko Hunt will begin again.

A hui hou! If you’d like to have this blog delivered to your inbox, please click the Follow button on the Home page. Mahalo for stopping by!

Aloha, Jamaica